For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
