i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So here I am, sexting at work.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
