Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
