So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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