so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
