I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
