come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
