halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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