it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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