oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
