YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
