I heard we made out
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you never un-have a 4some
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
