yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
