He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize