This girl is more easily done than said...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
