"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
