I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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