theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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