fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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