I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
