chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
