I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
