Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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