I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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