...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
