Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
do herpes really smell.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
