I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
