i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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