so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
