You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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