I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
