What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
