So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
