I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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