WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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