Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
