If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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