I got chris browned last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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