if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you had me at cake vodka
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're a waste of cheezeits
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
