Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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