sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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