there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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