Will you blow on my dice?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
