I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
