I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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