All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
