I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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