The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
