I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
