What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
