I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No subtext here. People are naked.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
