apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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