What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
