i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
