In the future we'll all be gay
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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