it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
