It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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