Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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