I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
