Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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