The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
