I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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