Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
