I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Im part way to drunk.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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