my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
