i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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