Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
