I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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