I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
