he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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