I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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