you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
