2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
