THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
