jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
